SEN. Guthertz recently authored a bill that could lead to the overhaul and update of the Guam Code Annotated (GCA), the comprehensive legal code that sets forth the rules for our community. Her stated objective is to streamline the Guam legal code and delete or modify the parts that no longer apply or are just plain stupid. Sen. Guthertz may not be able to see it through to completion, so I decided to help. I located a few areas that could use some review and perhaps even an adjustment or two.

In 21 GCA, Real Property, Chapter 68. Use & Development of Government Real Property:

“As an act of self-determination and as an act of autonomy, the lands of the former Naval Facility at Ritidian Point are hereby designated as the lands of the Government of Guam, to be held in trust by the Government of Guam for the benefit of the original owners, and to be held in trust for the shortest time possible until the land can be returned to the original owners or their heirs. The purported transfer of the land from the control of the Department of Defense to the United States Fish and Wildlife Service and the designation of the land as a critical habitat are hereby repudiated and canceled, as is the original taking by the United States government, which taking the Legislature finds to be theft from the original owners.”

Perhaps someone should consult the feds about this. Sovereign autonomy and self-determination are noble goals, but confronting the federal courts and Congress might not be the best way to go about it. A review of the ruling in “Government of Guam v. USA” (Federal case No. 97-17140) is definitely in order.

For those who decry the military presence in Guam and raise the specter of imminent nuclear attack by potential regional adversaries, the Guam Legislature has thoughtfully provided relief. Not only may you build a fallout shelter, but you may also take a tax exemption.

In 11 GCA §24408. Finance & Taxation. Fallout Shelter Exemption:

“The owner of a fallout shelter shall be entitled to an exemption in determining the value thereof for the purpose of assessing real property taxes to the following extent: The first Seven Hundred Fifty Dollars ($750.00) of the appraised value of improvements.”

(This is a very long section, so I simply note that fallout shelters remain in vogue in the Guam Code. Unfortunately, the process for getting your fallout shelter approved for exemption purposes is tantamount to suiting up for the first manned Mars expedition or applying for a Guam business license, which are roughly equivalent tasks.)

The next item hasn’t yet made it into law and may never do so, but it’s such a great example of election year pandering that I’m compelled to mention it. Sens. Yamashita, Mabini and Taijeron crafted a bill that would accord front-of-the-line privileges for veterans seeking government services, as is now the policy for senior citizens and the disabled. It’s a bad bill for lots of reasons, one of which I’ll discuss. Seniors and the disabled are relatively easy to spot but veterans come in all ages 17 and over and various degrees of mobility. Should all three categories be present at once? What’s the pecking order? Which of the categories has precedence at the head of the line? Is it to be decided by a coin flip or a rock-paper-scissors contest? Is this scheme to rely on the honor system and assume non-veterans won’t take advantage? Historically, honor systems don’t work well in Guam.

As a disabled senior citizen veteran I would presumably be a triple-threat head-of-the-line candidate prepared to defend my position by whatever means necessary. I may apply for a concealed-carry permit.

You can see where this is going. Not since the curtain went up on “MacBeth” have we seen three ladies stir up something so unappetizing.