LET’s not beat around the bush. Having moved to Guam after living almost 30 years in Japan, one thing my wife, Lynette, and I are finding really hard to deal with is the bundles of trash that some people dump off wherever they see fit ... and they won’t be seen.

There are few things I can think of that undermine the image of Guam as a tropical paradise as much as piles of smelly trash, to say nothing of the cans, bottles, old appliances, couches, mattresses, cigarette butts and graffiti. Given the importance most Japanese place on cleanliness and order, I am certain that some of our guests from that country haven’t come back for a second visit because of the trash.

Of course, we aren’t the only ones who’ve noticed this, and you don’t need to have lived in Japan to get more than a little steamed about it. The Calvo administration is working hard on the problem, with Lt. Gov. Ray Tenorio taking point; and most of our mayors and senators have also expressed serious concern. More and more cleanups are being organized, and I’m especially glad to see how many young people are getting involved.

Still, in spite of all the hard work of so many good people, the problem persists.

What more can we do about it?

Always the practical one in our family, Lynette does her bit. When we take our beagle, Cody, and cute little boonie pup, Cade, for their morning walk around MTM, Lynette always brings along a spare bag which she fills with as much trash as will fit. It’s our neighborhood, and so she takes her share of responsibility for it.

Just like people do in Japan.

Just like so many people here on Guam are doing as well.

Clearly the educational outreach efforts of the lieutenant governor and others are working ... but not for everyone. The people who already have at least a healthy seed of self-respect, respect for others, and respect for the land hear the message, and take responsibility.

But others don’t ... and these are probably the very people most likely to trash the island.

For some of them, rather than gentle persuasion, a sledgehammer might be needed.

Here’s what I suggest:

How about getting Ryan Bigler, backed up by another seven or eight of the biggest, meanest looking MMA fighters on the island, to get on TV with a public service announcement that would go something like this:

“Hey you! You dumping trash on our island? You scrawling your no-skill graffiti all over our walls? When you do that you disrespect our island, you disrespect our home ... and you disrespect us! That ain’t cool, and we got a problem with it!”

And what about respectfully asking the most powerful suruhåna who can be found to say something along the lines of:

“Are you dumping your trash on the land where it doesn’t belong? When you do that you disrespect the spirits of our ancestors. You disrespect the spirits of the land and the plants, and the ocean, and the trees ... and you disrespect me! And I’ve got a problem with that!”

Why not Archbishop Apuron?

“Do you dump your trash where it doesn’t belong? When you do that, you disrespect God’s creation. You disrespect our families. You disrespect yourself. And God has a problem with that!”

Some people still not getting the message? How about having every hardcore criminal in prison on Guam spend at least one or two days a week out in the heat picking up the nastiest, smelliest piles of trash on the island. If they don’t like it (and who would), let them spread the word around to their buddies on the outside that they really don’t appreciate having to pick up other people’s garbage ... and that they’d REALLY like it to stop.